1. No Expectations
Between 1996 and 2010,
the confidence among the English press and public was unmatched by
any other nation. We were going to win every tournament because we
had the best players, the luckiest managers, David Beckham's right
boot, Wayne Rooney's fearlessness, Rio's braids, Peter Crouch's hair
pulling abilities etc. The golden generation was born, but failed to
achieve again and again and again. And now they are no more.
A new generation is
born, made up of some of the old: Liverpool legend Steven Gerrard and
Chelsea's disorderly duo John Terry and Ashley Cole; some of the new:
the much maligned Jordan Henderson and the much hyped Alex
Oxlade-Chamberlain; and some true English grit: Tottenham's Scott
Parker and City's James Milner.
It's not as attractive
on paper as it was 10 years ago, but this is a good thing. This new
generation can be fearless. No-one (apart from me) reckons they can
go beyond the quarter finals. It's a 'win-win' situation (unless they
get humiliated by Ukraine, in which case it's very much 'lose').
2. Anti-Football is
the New Football
If
England win every game of the Euros 1-0, no-one will complain. Roy
Hodgson will have his side so gloriously organised, that the likes of
Franck Ribery, Arjen Robben and Andres Iniesta will dread playing
England. Seriously. Imagine having James Milner and Scott Parker
harassing you every two minutes, and that's before John Terry's even
within 10 metres of you.
The
Belgium game has taught us that England will sit and frustrate the
opposition, and then use the likes of Young, Welbeck,
Oxlade-Chamberlain, Walcott and Defoe to counter-attack, grab a goal
and then defend, defend, defend. Gloriously.
I
might put a bet on England winning every game 1-0.
3. The Chelsea
Factor
If
it can work for Chelsea, it can work for England. I still lie awake
some nights wondering how exactly they beat Barcelona. It defies
logic. But on that fateful night at the Nou Camp, Di Matteo got his
tactics spot on. And they did it again in the final. Football isn't
about possession, chances created, corners won etc, it's about who
gets more goals.
If
England get injuries and/or red cards, the Chelsea lads can remind
the side what their 10 men did against Barca, or what their depleted
squad managed against Bayern.
The
likes of John Terry and Ashley Cole can bring their
winning mentality to the national team. If it goes to penalties,
England will win. Even against Germany.
4. Steven Gerrard
Will Inspire, Wayne Rooney Will Return
With
the unfortunate departure of Frank Lampard and Gareth Barry due to
injury, a HUGE responsibility has been placed on the shoulders of our
favourite Scouser (Gerrard, not Rooney). Luckily, Stevie G LOVES
responsibility. Remember in 2005 when he won the Champions League
single-handedly for Liverpool? And don't tell me Traore, Smicer and
Luis Garcia had anything to do with it.
Now
Liverpool are rubbish, and Stevie probably won't get another
opportunity to lift a proper trophy (perhaps the Capital One Cup –
COCup?), so now is his time to take the proverbial bull by the horns
and lead England to glory.
Meanwhile,
while England bravely and stubbornly hold France and Sweden to 0-0
draws, Wayne Rooney sits and ponders that time he kicked a
Montenegrin, and prays that the Montenegrin-kicking incident won't be
detrimental to England's hopes of qualification. Wazza returns for
game three against the mighty Ukraine, and following a great season
at United, he shall come into the side and inspire England to a
glorious 1-0 win (Jordan Henderson with a 93rd
minute winner).
We
therefore qualify for the knock-out rounds, beating Spain in the
quarters, Holland in the semis, and then Germany in the final. Easy.
Rooney with the winning penalty. A statue of Rooney is later unveiled
outside Wembley.
5. It's been one of
the years
I
can't recall a season as bizarre as this one has been. The Premier
League has thrown up some, quite frankly, ludicrous scorelines and
situations, and if that wasn't enough, the 'Hollywood couldn't have
made it up' end to the season eclipsed every other final day. And
then the Chelsea thing happened. Crazy. I'd love to travel back to
August and tell a group of football fans what's to come, and then see
their reaction.
Well,
guess what? It's not over yet. There's still a European Championship
around the corner, and I can't accept that it will be a predictable
tournament. Spain, Germany and Holland are the three favourites, but
this is the year of weird. Something odd is going to happen. I can
feel it.
England
– Euro 2012 Champions.
